Days of our lives
by FoxFoot
Summary: I know it's a title to something I've heard of...I think...but it's a good story! Involves all the characters as soon as I post their own chapters. They're short because I didn't put much thought into these.
1. Nothing like sinking a hole in Uranus

These stories really have no point but I find them funny…along with my friends saying, "That's funny dude." So…read it!

One day, Sonic was sitting in a chair in his house in Station Square, the one place where people adore him and his friends and give them praise. But Sonic was bored and decided to go for a run. He ran around for quite some time before he noticed Amy. Finally realizing a way to rid himself of boredom, he ran even faster past Amy and caused a strong wind to knock her down. Sonic laughed as she fell and almost crashed into a tree, but for some reason, ran up it. He couldn't stop running and started going even faster than before and before he knew it, he was in space. Strangely and luckily, he could breathe in space and he kept running, though gravity could've taken it's role at some point in time, and Sonic got pulled into Uranus's gravitational pull (Uranus has a strong force XD). He crash landed on Uranus and slowly stood up. He saw, out of all things, furniture and sports equipment lying around. His legs felt all wobbly, meaning Sonic messed himself up, so he sat down on a table. The table sprouted eyes, arms, and legs, and stood up and made Sonic fall. The table mumbled something about butts and blue things but walked away. Sonic was confused so he found a recliner and sat in it. It too, sprouted limbs and pushed Sonic off of him. Then all of the furniture came to life and surrounded Sonic. A guillotine (which isn't furniture but was there anyway) trapped Sonic somehow and a desk walked up to Sonic holding a golf club and set himself up to hit him.

"FORE!" screamed the desk as it swung and whacked Sonic's ass so hard, he broke out of the guillotine and was sent flying back to Earth. Sonic screamed as he ladned face first in front of Tails.

"Holy crap on a crap cracker! Sonic, are you alright!" he screamed rushing to his side.

"No…it feels like my ass is broken," said Sonic as you could literally see that Sonic's ass was red, pulsing (cause it's all bruised) and very lumpy.

Sonic slowly stood up as he felt pain every time he tried moving (dunno why if it's just his ass in pain) and he slowly walked back home. He was about ten feet away when Amy walked up to him and held out her hammer.

"Oh God no!" screamed Sonic as he limped away like an old man and not getting very far.

Amy charged at him with a war cry and beat the living hell out of him with her hammer and walked away about five minutes later dusting her hands off as Sonic was left laying on the ground twitching and bleeding.

"I hate this day," he said soon passing out.

Okay, I'm gonna write stories like these for all the characters like Tails and Knuckles and the rest so...chill.


	2. Eat me! Wait I didn't mean it

Okay, this one is about Tails' day gone wrong cause it's really weird and not possible which is why I'm writing it…so read.

Tails was working in his workshop since he's bored and alone…a lot. He had four vials of colored liquids. They were red, blue, green, and yellow ( no it's not piss). So, he mixed the chemicals together for no reason at all and!…nothing happened. Tails sighed then watched his bed spontaneously combust.

"What the fuck!Not again!" he screamed while trying to put to the fire.

After settling the flames, Tails swept up the burnt-to-ashes parts of his bed and threw the ashes into a dustbin. He sat on his couch and heard a growling sort of noise and looked down.

"Am I hungry?" he asked to no one, "wait…that wasn't my stomach," then…the couch ate him.

Yes, the couch ate him. It grew teeth, a mouth, a tongue,a throat and digestive system. It chewed Tails up and started swallowing him and outside with the couch you could hear Tails scream, "Help! The couch is eating me! It's innards are fluffy and it's making things hot! I can't breathe! I can't see very well! I can hear sloshing noises!"

After being in the couches stomach for sometime, Tails remembered he had the sharp metal thing from Sonic Adventure and used it to cut the couch open.

"This is some pretty fucked up shit right here," he said while walking outside.

He stayed outside to avoid being eaten by something else in his workshop which might come to life as household furniture and breathed deeply.

"Ack! -Cough, cough- stupid polluted air!" he said while pounding on his chest.

Tails saw a rather large plane on fire and coming straight for him and he screamed like a little bitch and ran off to the giant circular area where he fought Eggman and lost a Chaos Emerald once in Sonic Adventure and watched the plane blow up his workshop.

"Nooooooo! All my work! My efforts! My porn! It's all gone! You mother fucker!" he screamed and broke down crying for about two minutes.

After he got over it, he walkedever towards the edge of thecliff, attempting to commit suicide, but failed as he for some reason exploded into a bunch of tiny chunks ofyellow or whatever color Tails is, and the badge thing that was on his tail exploded too.

"God damn it all!" said Tails as only his mouth was left intact, which a seagull grabbed and ate.

Okay, in case you haven't noticed, I hate Tails…not a lot but he's an annoying fox thing. So too bad if you like him. Anyway, knuckles is next!


	3. So you pissed off the jello man

Okay, just so you all know, I made Knuckles seem like a total dumbass. He is retarded not because he's gullible…he's just retarded.

Knuckles sat in front of the Master Emerald like he has been since forever. Clips of naked women and sharp objects appeared like a T.V. ad on the emerald as Knuckles was choking' the chicken, makin' the piggy squeal, gropin' his gorilla, floggin' the log, a.k.a. beatin' his meat! And for all you retards, masturbating.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Oh yeah! Uh huh! Mmmm. Swords, uh huh! Gah! Nice titties! Why haven't I blown my load! I've been at it for an hour! Which is great for losing fat, at least in my right arm," he said sweating profusely.

Then, a thick, red liquid landed on his dick which made him gasp really weird.

"AAAAAH! I didn't mean to stop making the piggy squeal! I didn't mean to fry his bacon! I didn't flog the log, I took down the whole forest!"

Then he noticed a Chao with a ketchup bottle smiling foolishly. Then it ran off.

"Argh! You pudding head mother fucker! I should throw you into a forest where you would get lost and live happily ever after! The end! I pronounce youChao and forest! You may flog the log!" he screamed to no one while shaking one of his gigantic fists and staring back at the emerald.

Before Knuckles could continue beating his meat, Chaos jumped out of the Master Emerald and stood before Knuckles.

"Hey! Buddy, buddy!"

Chaos stared at Knuckles grimly which is kind of hard to tell since he really has no face, just a pair of eyes and a brain in water which can stay together like jello, but anyway, he said, "Two things you horny ass tomato red mother fucker! One; you're horny and standing in front of me. Two; Don't call me that!"

Knuckles covered his wang and asked, "Why are you out?"

"I'm tired of turning into pictures of naked women and sharp objects for your desire! Pick one! The answer is obvious! Naked women or sharp objects!"

Knuckles jumped for joy in some sort of anime style thing and said, "Yeah! Sharp objects all the way!" he shouted all proud and shit.

"Idiot," said Chaos.

He walked off and came back with a stick of dynamite. It was already lit and was almost ready to blow.

"Here, take this and stroke for some time and magic stuff will…happen or some shit," said Chaos as he quickly ran off.

"Cool! A magic glowing stick!…Hey, wait a minute, are you yanking my pork?" asked Knuckles but then the dynamite exploded, "Even the magic stick goes boom before me," said Knuckles all dazed and shit, then he passed out all charred black and shit.

"Nah, you do well on your own," said Chaos going back into the Maser Emerald.

Knuckles is obviously a chronic masturbator if he can go for an hour without blowing his load and watch porn and sharp objects float by inside an emerald…which isn't possible but who the fuck cares. Amy's chapter is next!


	4. Love hurts, a lot

Okay now it's Amy's turn for some sort of suffering. If you're a fan of her...too bad.

Amy was laying in her bed and fantasizing about Sonic as usual and doing some other "stuff" while thinking about him. She sighed as she turned her head and stared at a picture of Sonic that was next to her bed on a desk.

"Why can't you understand how I feel about you Sonic? Ever since the first day we met it's been love at first sight! Why can't you-" then she was interuppted by a knock at her door, "HEY! I'M TRYING TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE SPECIAL MOMENTS HERE!" she screamed really, really pissed off.

Then there was no noise and it got into a really creepy atmosphere type thing like in horror movies.

"Why can't you love me like I love you Sonic?" she asked kissing the picture.

She sat up and decided to go outside and see...outside. So she walked out ofher bedroom and into the living room and opened her door and stepped outside. Sonic ran past her and did his usual trademark grin as he past by and Amy sighed and stared at Sonic dreamily. Little hearts flew up from somewhere by Amy and they all stopped and floated above her. They growled and grew sharp teeth and they started biting Amy. Screams were heard as bits of Amy's dress and a limb flew by as blood splattered everywhere. Then the hearts popped and Amy was...well nothing was left.

Alright, all my chapters are short because I'm putting everything down from what's in my notebook. I wrote these cause I was bored and I like to write. Boredom sucks and so do these but I gotta put something up.


	5. Dark stuff, explosions, and Satan

Now it's Shadow's turn for something stupid to happen. Remember, I was bored and I had nothing to do. These are strange because...well I don't have a reason but do whatever!

Shadow sat in a dark room in nothing but the pitch black darkness itself. Strangely, all of Shadow's house was nothing but pitch black darkness, even as the sun was shining in, making it look like a blackhole in his house. Well, he was meditating for a short while then he decided to get some soda, so he walked to the kitchen. On his way there, he hit just about everything as he walked.

"(Bump) Ow. (Hit) Damn it! (Thud) Oops. Grr!"

Shadow clapped his hands and the darkness went away and everything was bright, blinding Shadow and making him scream.

"AAAAH! TOO BRIGHT!"

After his eyes got used to the light and he was done screaming, he walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Inside the fridge, everything had tentacles and was snarling. Shadow picked up a can of something weird and it snarled as he looked at it. He closed the fridge door and popped the can open and where ever the noise was coming from, it stopped and the tentacles went limp. Shadow drank the strange soda and did the biggest and longest burp ever to be recorded in history, too bad it wasn't recorded and no one heard it.

"Man, all that carbon is gonna kill the atmosphere," he said throwing the can into the garbage.

Then, for some odd reason, Shadow pulled out a gatling gun and decided to shoot everything in his house for no reason at all. He screamed acting like he was Rambo or something and stopped when every inch of his house was covered in bullet holes, which was bad meaning the house might collapse, but it didn't. Then after a while of panting from all the screaming and shooting, he did some weird lookin' DragonBallZ rip off power up thing and screamed for a long time and letting Chaos Energy surge through him and around him and used so much it destroyed the neighborhood. But it was kinda cool looking. When he opened his eyes, he saw he was in hell and realized he killed himself and the entire neighborhood.

"God damn it! Satin!" he said pointing at Satin.

"What? You killed yourself."

"Shut up! Get me some beer, we're playing poker now," he said pulling out a deck of cards and getting a table out of nowhere.

"Hold on you pathetic excuse for a Sonic wannabe, I gotta invite some other friends," said Satin pulling out a weird looking devil cell phone.

"Make it fast," said Shadow as he opened the deck and saw two hot looking she devils which instantly attacked him.

Satin watched and giggled like a little girl then walked off forgetting about Shadow and the poker game that never came.

Yes, Shadow was killed by dead women who aren't really there. Too bad for him. Anyway, Rouge probably getting something sexually bad happening to her is next.


	6. When Chao get nasty

Okay, just so you all know, this story as sexual preferences involving…many, many Chao…and a lady. So this is not for you people who hate sex, there are people like that out in the world, I've watched T.V. I know!

Rouge was standing in front her her mirror with her top off and looking at her boobs.

"Are they getting bigger?" she asked herself and feeling them more.

Rouge has enormous triple fifty D titties. Almost an F cup, jealous? You should be. She kept feeling on them until she was convinced they were getting bigger. She put her top back on and a whole lot of cleavage was showing, as always. She decided to go check on her Chao in the Chao Garden since she hasn't visited in a while, bad move. She went into the hotel which owned a Chao Garden of it's own. When she entered the garden, all the Chao that were there, which was a count of thirteen, were all staring at her ginormous boobs, which madeher incredibly uncomfortable. She went to her Chao and patted it's head and gave it some food and noticed all the Chao were staring at her still, but in a sexual way. She looked back at her Chao which was now drooling as it was staring at Rouge's breasts' since she was bent over and feeding it.

"What the hell is going on!"

She stood up and back away from her Chao and bent over to pick up more food and when she did, a Chao jumped on her and started humping her.

"Get off me you damn horny midget!" she screamed while flinging the Chao off of her.

The Chao slowly advanced towards Rouge while holding their arms out straight and walking towards Rouge like mindless zombies. She turned to run, but all the Chao tackled her like a swarm of…Chao and knocked her to the ground. Rouge screamed as the Chao started ripping off her clothes and groping her body since there are a lot of fucking Chao. The last thing Rouge saw before everything went dark were Chao dicks blocking her sight and Chao everywhere.

Yeah…I'm not going to say how I made this…but…I think Rouge can handle her problem…damn slut. I know all my stories are short...because I made them like that. I was in school, I always went straight to the point!


	7. Crack sex and stuff on the floor

Okay, this one is gonna seem very weird considering that it's happening to a six year old…yes…it will be strange…read it anyway.

One day in the Rabbit household, Cream and her mother sat in their living room, watching little kiddie cartoons like mother's and little kids should be doing together. The phone rang and Vanilla walked over to the phone and answered it. When she was finished talking on the phone, she walked back into the living room and grabbed her coat and put on some clothes a prostitute would wear.

"Okay Cream, mommy has to go to work now so I'll be back in a few hours. I called a babysitter about an hour ago, don't know why he isn't here…but once he's hear, do whatever the nice babysitter says okay?" asked Vanilla and she kissed Cream good-bye.

"Okay. Who's coming to baby-sit me?"

"A person named Shadow."

When Vanilla said that, Cream's eyes burst wide open and she started clinging to Vanilla's leg.

"No mommy! Don't leave me here with Shadow!" cried Cream as she burst into tears.

"Now Cream, Shadow will be nice to you. I have to go now. Be good!" said Vanilla as she left to go do her "job".

Cream sulked back to the couch and continue watching T.V. Not even a minute after she sat down, the doorbell rang and Cream walked to the door. She opened it and saw none other than Shadow standing there looking down at her.

"Hey there you little twerp," said Shadow as he pushed Cream aside and walked in.

Cream closed the door with a sad look on her face and walked over to the couch. She sat down next to where Shadow was sitting and started watching T.V. again.

"This shows lame, I've seen it a million times," said Shadow as he changed the channel to "Off Road Rampage". The most violent show with crashing, dying, blood, and idiots running into each other everywhere.

"Mommy says I can't watch this show," said Cream with a sad tone in her voice.

"Live a little you…," but Shadow stopped after noticing Cheese started twitching on the T.V., "what's wrong with your Chao?" asked Shadow as he pointed to Cheese.

"He has a problem. I have to go feed him sugar," she said and walking to the kitchen.

Shadow stared at Cheese while Cheese stared back until Cream came back with a bag of white powder in it. She poured some in a line and gave Cheese a straw. He snorted the "sugar" until the entire bag was gone.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What're you doing!" screamed Shadow as he snatched the bag.

"I'm doingwhat the directions say on the back," said Cream turning the bag around and letting Shadow read the directions.

He saw on the bag it was labeled "sugar" but was covered with white tape. He peeled it off and under it said "crack". Shadow had a pissed off look on his face and stared at Cream angrily.

"YOU FED HIM CRACK!" screamed Shadow while throwing his arms into the air.

"I didn't know!" said Cream as she started to whimper.

When your mom hears about this, you're gonna be so-" but was cut off and Cheese let out a loud shriek and started throwing furniture and stuff everywhere.

"See what you've done!" screamed Shadow hiding in the closet.

"I had no idea!" cried Cream as she ran into the bathroom.

Hours passed by as Cheese destroyed the inside of the house. Broken furniture, Cream, Shadow, pictures, and the kitchen sink were lying all over the living room floor. Shadow and Cream were panting like crazy after they finally got Cheese to stop destroying everything.

"I…hate…this job…," said Shadow panting between each word.

The door to Cream's house opened to reveal Vanilla with her outfit (I guess you can call it that) torn and ripped in some places and the one fluid no child should ever see between a woman's legs between Vanilla's legs.

"Hi honey-oh my god what happened here!" cried Vanilla as she stared in horror and what's left her the inside of her home, "Cream! You didn't have another orgy while I was gone did you? You know your supposed to let me join in too!"

"No mommy, I didn't have another orgy."

"What the! You let her have sex!" screamed Shadow as he stared back and forth between Vanilla and Cream.

"I say the sooner my child learns this stuff the better. Besides she seems to enjoy it," she said while putting her coat back on the hanger.

"A Chao that eats crack and destroys shit, a mother who's a slut, a daughter who has orgies…you people are fucking weird! I'm out of here!" cried Shadow as he ran out the house.

"Now what was his problem?" asked Vanilla going into the bathroom.

"I don't know," said Cream as she flipped the couch back over and started watching more T.V. Cheese hopped onto the couch with an ice pack on his head and he laid down and fell asleep with the pack on him while Cream was rubbing his stomach.

Okay…that was fucking weird. Well, that's all for Days Of Our Lives! Next, Days Of Our Lives 2! Featuring Star Fox!


End file.
